22 February, 2017

kol hatchalot kashot

My first 'blogging' days began many moons ago on a website called LiveJournal.

At the age of 13 I began writing the realities of my life. Heartache. Struggle. Praises. Growth. Conversions. Failures.

I was blunt. I was honest. I was real.

For nearly 10 year I used a medium that was my solitude in a world of pain - far before 'blogs' were ever a thing - or the term blog was even relevant.

One of those very blogs - I titled: "kol hatchalot kashot".

It is Hebrew for 'Every beginning is difficult'.

19 years later; beginnings are still hard. And endings are even harder.

But eventually - whether it's maturity, or a hard dose of reality - we move on. We move forward.

Maybe it's 'giving up'. Maybe it's accepting. Maybe it's the hardest, most painful thing you've ever done - but eventually you do it.

12 years ago I wrote a bio in one of my 'LiveJournal' accounts.
It began like this:
Being a 'feminist' might have a different meaning - a different look - and a different perspective 12 years later. But I think I got something right when I wrote that original profile so many moons ago.

Feminists love our daughters, our sons, our friends, our family, our neighbors, and even strangers.
Feminists believe in opportunity - equal opportunity - for all.
Feminists believe that we have to work hard - and unfortunately, sometimes some of us have to work harder than others.
Feminists are unique - because humans are unique. 

But this isn't even about being a feminist. Because this isn't what a feminist looks like - this is what a Blair looks like. And 'i am blair'. Whether it was Blair Hill. Blair Eckstrom. or Blair Pettrey - I am still Blair.

And I'm doing - I've done - and I will continue to do - far more than I ever dreamed, imagined, or thought. As will my 3 amazing lils. 

12 years ago I married the man I thought would be my forever.
And while he wasn't my forever husband - he was my forever co-parent.
He was my first love. My first heartbreak. My first lesson in discovering, trusting, and learning who 'Blair' is. Who Blair was. Who I am.

Every beginning is difficult.
But this is just the beginning.

14 February, 2017

Happy Valentine's Day, 2017💔💗

This Valentine’s Day - Love someone who can’t give you anything back

"Loving your enemies, praying for those who hurt you. This sounds like a bigger celebration than a last minute purchase of chocolate on the way to an overpriced fixed menu." - jon