11 March, 2017

Come and go with me to that land
Come and go with me to that land
Come and go with me to that land
Where I'm bound
Where I'm bound
I got a brother in that land
I got a brother in that land
I got a brother in that land
Where I'm bound
Where I'm bound
I got a brother in that land
I got a brother in that land
I got a brother in that land
Where I'm bound
Where I'm bound
Come and go with me to that land
Come and go with me to that land
Come and go with me to that land
Where I'm bound
Where I'm bound
I got a sister in that land
I got a sister in that land
I got a sister in that land
Where I'm bound
Where I'm bound
I got a sister in that land
I got a sister in that land
I got a sister in that land
Where I'm bound
Where I'm bound
Come and go with me to that land
Come and go with me to that land
Come and go with me to that land
Where I'm bound
Where I'm bound
We'll all be together in that land
We'll all be together in that land
We'll all be together in that land
Where I'm bound
Where I'm bound
Come and go with me to that land
Come and go with me to that land
Come and go with me to that land
Where I'm bound

22 February, 2017

kol hatchalot kashot

My first 'blogging' days began many moons ago on a website called LiveJournal.

At the age of 13 I began writing the realities of my life. Heartache. Struggle. Praises. Growth. Conversions. Failures.

I was blunt. I was honest. I was real.

For nearly 10 year I used a medium that was my solitude in a world of pain - far before 'blogs' were ever a thing - or the term blog was even relevant.

One of those very blogs - I titled: "kol hatchalot kashot".

It is Hebrew for 'Every beginning is difficult'.

19 years later; beginnings are still hard. And endings are even harder.

But eventually - whether it's maturity, or a hard dose of reality - we move on. We move forward.

Maybe it's 'giving up'. Maybe it's accepting. Maybe it's the hardest, most painful thing you've ever done - but eventually you do it.

12 years ago I wrote a bio in one of my 'LiveJournal' accounts.
It began like this:
Being a 'feminist' might have a different meaning - a different look - and a different perspective 12 years later. But I think I got something right when I wrote that original profile so many moons ago.

Feminists love our daughters, our sons, our friends, our family, our neighbors, and even strangers.
Feminists believe in opportunity - equal opportunity - for all.
Feminists believe that we have to work hard - and unfortunately, sometimes some of us have to work harder than others.
Feminists are unique - because humans are unique. 

But this isn't even about being a feminist. Because this isn't what a feminist looks like - this is what a Blair looks like. And 'i am blair'. Whether it was Blair Hill. Blair Eckstrom. or Blair Pettrey - I am still Blair.

And I'm doing - I've done - and I will continue to do - far more than I ever dreamed, imagined, or thought. As will my 3 amazing lils. 

12 years ago I married the man I thought would be my forever.
And while he wasn't my forever husband - he was my forever co-parent.
He was my first love. My first heartbreak. My first lesson in discovering, trusting, and learning who 'Blair' is. Who Blair was. Who I am.

Every beginning is difficult.
But this is just the beginning.

14 February, 2017

Happy Valentine's Day, 2017💔💗

This Valentine’s Day - Love someone who can’t give you anything back

"Loving your enemies, praying for those who hurt you. This sounds like a bigger celebration than a last minute purchase of chocolate on the way to an overpriced fixed menu." - jon

23 December, 2016

So this is Christmas (aka 2016) - and professionally it was awesome.

I preface this: 1.) I'm verbose, what else is new. 2.) I rarely ever share ( I think it's been over a year?) stuff from my blog on my social media worlds - But this is important, so I'm going to be both verbose and I'm going to share.

I remember living in North Carolina... so anxiously eager and excited to have an opportunity to 'move home'. I was 3 months pregnant but of course my potential employers didn't know. When I accepted a job at AOPA I had no idea how amazing and revolutionary it would be - not just professionally, but personally.

I met some of the most amazing people I will ever know because of AOPA(too many to name). And I connected with others (DK) in a real way. But then I referred someone - not just someone, I referred the person that would become my boss. And what a freaking struggle that was. But this isn't about that.

This is about what happened because of that referral. After months of realizing I was in hell - I randomly applied for jobs on ZipRecruiter.com

One of them was for a 'Senior Online Marketing Manager' for a company called MeetingPlay. I remember only the fact that I did not even complete the entire resume/online process. I wasn't serious about leaving AOPA of course.

But things quickly went from 'hell' to 'insanity awful' at AOPA. And it was the day before Christmas eve when this man called me. I didn't know he would be as amazing as he turned out to be.

I had a million projects that evening, so I was stuck in the office until nearly 7pm. We didn't talk until there after. But he was EXCITED! He was MOTIVATED! And he truly believed in what his company provided (mobile event apps). I had no idea I was speaking to my future CEO.

A few days passed, and I was speaking with the woman that now I can't even begin to define. At the time she made me paranoid. She asked the hard questions - the really hard ones. (Like defining a predicted budget for marketing in an industry I had never worked in. And to be specific... <--- Lisa, I may not have been close with certain investments we've made in software, but I hope my year one was as worthwhile investment wise as I hope. Joe, thank you for believing in the CRM/CMS I recommended. You both took a huge leap of faith not just in me, but in trusting my judgement and preference and hope for a tool and I appreciate it beyond measure.)

Where did I leave off? Oh, the hard questions. Yes, this potential woman asked of me things that made my mind go "uh oh". Both on the phone and in person - and I remember both situations so completely because of how specific and intentional her questions where.

This woman ended up being my company's COO. And yet far more than that - or inclusive of that - she ended up being one of my mentors. In fact, both my CEO and my COO ended up being my mentors. How often does anyone get the opportunity to say that? (Hint: extremely rarely).

The past year since that once upon a time phone call that I had no idea would completely change, enhance, and empower my life - so much has happened.  So many wonderful things have happened and transpired.

Like ranking on page one for a really hard keyword. Like having the CEO of t-mobile engage with us via social. Like creating a billion (not exactly) pages and blogs and social media posts and outreaches and guest blog posts and blah blah blah (all that awesome online marketing stuff) to help a company grow. I GOT TO HELP AN AMAZING COMPANY GROW! 

But perhaps the most amazing part is the fact that my CEO and my COO - my mentors, my employers, and even perhaps my friends - they are barely older than me. They are ridiculously young and yet ridiculously successful. And that's because of their brilliance. That's because of their focus. Perhaps, however, it's mostly because of their absolute commitment and dedication.

I have never met two individuals so hard working. I have never met anyone as driven, as passionate, and yet as humble as Lisa and Joe Schwinger. And I somehow got lucky enough to have them as my bosses.

MeetingPlay, (oh by the way, that's the company I work for) - is growing, changing, and developing. (I was told I would probably cry a few times this year - of course that's just because of my hypersensitivity to change. Like when computer monitors change :)) But what 2017 holds for not just me - but for the company I work for - it's amazing. It's powerful. It's millennial terminology 'awesomesauce'.

I first created this blog in December 2007. I made a 'crazy' ( for me at the time ) decision to switch from livejournal where all my 'fans' where - to a blog with a domain on blogger where I knew nothing. I've obviously grown, changed, matured, and experienced much since those humbling days. But through every single thing I can tell you this  - I am and have learned to be, grateful.

And the most humbling and yet empowering thing that has happened - was when I joined the team at MeetingPlay.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah (thanks Lisa for letting me know how to spell that), and Happy Holidays. I hope 2017 is as wonderful, empowering and growth impacting as I know my 2017 will be, for each of my friends and family members, And I hope that 2016 taught each of you lessons, but lessons of value and importance that landed in amazing opportunities and with amazing people.


Blair Pettrey

09 December, 2016

Hebrews 13:6

Life is good. Things are good. People are good. People in my life amazing. Things in my life amazing. Gratitude goes a long way - and I am grateful for much, and much do I have to be grateful for!

I truly can't complain - I am probably happier, more at peace, and stronger than I have ever been. I have grown so much in the past few months - and I owe so much of that to my commitment to my Heavenly Father.

Onwards and upwards - but with Christ by my side, strength no matter what.

22 November, 2016

Lil Miss Pettrey is 18 Months Old! - Time Goes too Quickly

There is no joy, nothing greater, no more happiness than the 3 blessings that I have been given. The 3 loves of my life.

One whom happened to turn 18 months old today. How in the world that happened so quickly, I do not know. Lil Miss Pettrey  - I adore you. Lil Mr. Hill and Lil Miss Hill? I adore you both as well. <3

I wish I could hold each of you in my arms and make time slow down! 
I love the three of you more than you will ever, ever know! 

09 November, 2016

He may serve as President.

I have been very silent when it comes to politics this season. I did not vote in the primary election. I barely registered in time to vote in the general - which was even a shock that I did myself in fact do (register that is).

I just didn't care - I felt hopeless - I felt that America had not only ripped opportunity and given us two candidates in both parties that didn't represent "us" or "we" but in which neither helped or offered hope.

And while yes, yesterday I voted - I had no idea who or what or how I was going to - and thankfully, I live in a state where my vote (at least for presidential candidates) truly doesn't matter.

But even walking away, I didn't feel good. I felt sick walking in - and I felt sick walking out. There was no hope or change or power in my vote yesterday - and I knew that. There was no excitement or empowerment or belief that I could run and tell my children that I thought I helped contribute to something better for their tomorrows - our tomorrows.

I stayed up til 3 am - watching the polls, and then listening to what I never thought in a million years - what I never dreamed of or even probably deep down hoped of - would happen - Donald Trump's acceptance speech.

And today? Today I listened to the most amazing, humbling, and empowering concession speech that I will play for my children - but especially my daughters - continuously throughout their lives.

Not to remind them that they can't win - but to remind them that they can.
That girls can win.
That we will break through the glass ceiling one day.
That there will be a day in which women won't be 3rd class citizens (and yes, yes we are.).
A day when we are paid fairly - equally.
A day where a woman with 30 years of experience will have an opportunity to do a job over a man with zero years of experience - because she has 30 years experience, and not because he's a rich man.

My 'candidate' lost 4 years ago. At that point? My party broke apart and failed. I'm not sure what has happened to my beliefs - or where I stand on any political spectrum since - or even if I do at all any more - but it truly doesn't matter - what matters is no one won yesterday. But I pray somehow, America can pull it together to win enough despite the loss of all.

"Now, I — I know — I know we have still not shattered that highest and hardest glass ceiling, but some day someone will and hopefully sooner than we might think right now. (APPLAUSE) And — and to all the little girls who are watching this, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams. Finally…"

I will never raise my children in hate, to hate. I will never raise my daughters, or my son to accept Donald Trump - or what he has done or to condone his behavior. I pray that I can only help them to learn to tolerate what he does for the future. He may serve as President.

23 October, 2016

G-d's Presence Beginning Young

As a current member of a high Episcopal/Anglican church (and have been for many years), I have begun transitioning to even more of the liturgical and saint focused aspects of the Anglican Catholic church. While the high Episcopal/Anglican church does utilize rosaries, the prayers are non specific, as they are in the typical Roman Catholic church.

While our prayers have slightly changed lately as our walk in Christ has begun to grow, the repetitiveness of our nightly prayers and rosary use - is amazing to see. Em knows exactly where to go get her beads every night when it's bed time, and she while she can't kneel yet, she will full body lay on her beads - and I will join her.

We pray a compline prayer, or even pray the Catholic Rosary - and the fact that my 17 month old daughter can sit there in complete and utter contemplation as we praise and reflect and connect with our Savior and those around him - well it's probably the most amazing thing to see.

Next to her powerful and strong AMEN's! One of the first words she learned, and one of the coolest mom moments I have had  - I still pat myself on the back over that one.

After her powerful Amen, she will pull out the drawer where her rosary goes, and put it away.

Again - pretty dang impressive for a 17 month old to be that connected and instilled in what we are commanded to do as Christians - and more so as members of his true Church.

I read this thing on Facebook earlier today - that its not that churches don't have enough rock and roll worship, or Sunday School fun or whatever to draw children and teens into the church- it's that there's not enough Jesus happening at home. I hope that Emily Ruth looks back one day at the strength of her namesake (Ruth) and her strong belief system that she has so proudly taken upon herself already - and is grateful that I as her momma, raised her right.

Heavenly Father - may my efforts to love You, outweigh the world that wants to place anxiety in my mind and heart. May I continue to follow You on Your true path, knowing that I am raising my children to grow up knowing and loving You, as well as sharing that true knowledge of what true Christ like love is with others.

14 August, 2016

Darling, you see, no heroes are coming for you. Grab your sword, and don your own armor. - Emily Palermo

Yesterday my sweet Bella, aka Addy, taught Emily Ruth 'Uh oh'. It was adorable, and cute, and sweet - especially hearing my two daughters play together (ignore the diaper butt!):


But then Em realized that she can say 'uh oh' to pretty much anything - throwing her self down, throwing toys, slapping ME, biting ME, etc - and just say 'uh oh' - and then laugh hysterically... The cute ran out at that point. (Okay, it's still slightly cute, but need to break her of the bad part of it!).

She's recently started walking with her walker, pulling herself up in her crib, and on couches, and pretty much anything that allows her to stand up - which means walking is probably soon around the corner. (Enter mommy version of 'Uh oh!')

She kisses "smack" like crazy (including in her sleep the other evening!) , will put her head/cheek to you when she wants a kiss (and repeat it until you give her a kiss!), and loves to 'be gentle' with hair brushing.

She says mom, momma, add (addy), bru (brooklyn), bye bye, hi, uh oh,.  She has 10 (Maybe 11, or 12... I am scared to stick my finger in anymore because she bites!) teeth. In comparison Addy and Brooks still hadn't broken their first tooth at this age. 

Pretty much there's my 'My Sweet Em is 14 months and 23 days old' update.
Still so much in love with my sweet little girl, and so grateful for every single day we've had together, and will continue to have in the future together.

Being a single mom isn't easy, but Em makes it easy. She makes it so worth it. 

 My prayer continues to be that Heavenly Father will allow me to be the fantastic mother I have proven to the world - and most importantly, to my sweet Em, that I am.

05 August, 2016

30 June, 2016

The Lord Stands Beside Us

I have another post that I wrote a couple days ago.
It is sitting in my 'drafts' folder. It's done - it's finalized. But is it something I really want to share? Not today. Not now. And yet, it's probably one of the most empowering, and important messages I have ever written on this 'silly' blog.

Yet, what I am about to share is right up there - and I am grateful that this one is a bit more uplifting, despite my attempts at making the previously mentioned post 'uplifting' when it was an intransigent and negative experience - but one that allowed me to move on, and feel empowered. Empowered for myself, for my children, and for others in similar situations.

I digress.

We are all faced with times of doubt. With times of hardship. With times where our actions, decisions, and thoughts even make our own selves question what we were thinking when we acted (or reacted) in such a manner.

No matter who you are - there are moments, situations and split seconds that we wish we had made a different choice. Do we regret our choices or decisions? I certainly hope not - because it allows an individual to learn, grow and move forward. Though I acknowledge that others may look back on situations and be capable of only seeing regret.

I've been there.

And truth be - so have many others.

Enter Blaine Young. 

Now, I didn't grow up in Frederick County. In fact I only randomly moved here on a 'whim' in 2011 - as a newly separated single mother at not even 26.

After that seperation, being 'young and fit and single' for the first time in my life, I dated. A lot. And one of those interactions introduced me to conservative, republican values. While that relationship was vitriol in the simplist of terms - it also taught me a lot about myself, and encouraged me to seek and learn.

That failed relationship (thank goodness) lead me to the Frederick GOP community. Let's bypass unnecessary mistakes, ignorances and truly juvenile decisions (Like thinking I knew anything at all about politics, or running for office... hahahah).

I was also introduced to those in power here in Frederick County - and Blaine Young was one of them. At the time, he served as Frederick County's commissioner. He came from a political bleeding family. A family of power, importance and wealth.

Fast forward many years, times, and situations - and that same powerful, well off, and sinner (as we all are) Blaine found himself in yet another bad situation. A mistake that would truly transform his life.

Had he chosen to allow that 'bad decision' to overwhelm and overtake him, Blaine could have failed. And yet instead, he allowed it - in public view point (even when others said don't do this! delete this! don't talk about this in public! etc.) to showcase how he was using this poor decision and consequences to overcome and empower him.

In a recent conversation that I was privileged to engage with Blaine - I explained how I wish I could see the power and opportunity that he does despite circumstances and poor decisions.

There was a list of quality advice and honesty that was reveled in a mere 5 minute Facebook conversation, and yet one of the most empowering statements he made, has stayed with me since (and thankfully, through my own recent mistakes).

"Sometimes you have to lose yourself to find yourself." 
- Blaine Young
What does that statement mean? Well, I think it's one that is truly up for intrepreation. As we all have our own battles and demons to overcome. And whether they are blasted all over the front page of the Frederick News Post - or they are ones that are hidden from anyone but our own selves - we all still struggle.

We all still fall short. "... for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of G-d" (Romans 3:23)

But we are never left alone. (Deut 31:6, Psalm 27:10, 1 Samuel 12:22, etc etc etc!)

And my wish is that when those of us who do have to lose ourselves - that when we find ourselves - we find also, that we were never alone in that difficult walk.

The Lord stands beside us - even when we don't want to accept Him.
The Lord stands beside us - even when we don't want to acknowledge Him.
The Lord stands beside us - even when we fall so terribly short.

The Lord stands beside us - always -
 even when we must find ourselves again.