06 March, 2011

So Religion...

Folks, I apologize.
Yesterday was an awful day from the moment I woke up. My alarm was too early (not really, but to my brain it was too early...). I then got ready, and boy did I look cute. I spent the night earlier cleaning and SCRUBBING my kitchen floor. I was loving on my kids, etc. It was time to leave - and I couldn't find my keys, ANYWHERE. Seriously, I looked EVERY FREAKING WHERE.

I had my triple AAA (it's not triple AAA, I'm not sure what it's called, but it's pretty much triple AAA) call someone to come unlock my car thinking maybe with bringing in my kids/everything that was in my car, they were in my car. I had searched my house upside down, my trash even, the dumpter outside, etc. They unlock my cars? Nope, they aren't in there. I am going crazy now. I need a XANAX or something.... I go inside I burst into tears, I've been a REALLY mean mom, I've missed my class for the second time this week (first because of work, which is another story... grr!), and then? Then Brooks comes with his blankey up to me, and underneith the blanket are my keys.

And then I feel attacked on a post, that I told mormons not to read because I didn't want them to feel like I was attacking them, I was just saying how I felt about something I thought would be cooler.

And yes, I still think that mini temple is pretty lame. I thought it was going to be like Cinderella's castle, and absolutly gorgeous (in more than just 1 room). And it's not, to me. And that is what I'm always trying to convey. This is MY journal, MY feelings, MY thoughts, MY desires, etc. I don't care what you think/feel/etc when I'm writing, I'm only doing it for me.

Now, I will NEVER (And that's a promise) clarify myself again, especially not in my blog. 

BUT - With great ponder, I realized, that maybe I was a bit offensive. And no, I don't care, because it's my blog. But, you guys have to understand - to an outsider, that the temple isn't going to coorelate to what it does to members of the LDS church. Where I see boring, plain, and gray - you see your believed in spirit, and that makes it beautiful to you. If I don't believe in your spirits, I'm not going to see your spirits beauty, etc.

I respect each and everyone because we are all individuals on this path and course of life. 
If you claim to a belief, that's wonderful - as long as it motivates, encourages, and betters your life. I only ask that if you choose to express something as strong and powerful as "I'm Christian", "I'm LDS", "I'm Jewish", whatever/etc that you stand by that faith's beliefs. Don't be a hypocrite. I don't respect hypocrites.

It has taken me 10+ years of searching, praying, going to different churches, organizations, meetings, lessons, non-praying, meditation, etc - to discover that I don't believe in a church or a religion or a known "God". I mean that, I live that, and I believe that this is my only opportunity to be who I am, so I need to be the best me I can - so that my impact can survive the death of my being.

Lastly stated, again this is MY blog, and I will never again apologize for offending when writing in my BLOG.

I've come to the conclusion...:

That my blog should be re-titled one of the following:


And trust me when I promise write,
that these were not my intentions when
I first began my blog.

I began my blog as way to express myself as I began and formed my journey in this life. I had Mitch
and I's family blog, and I felt that, that I was expressing myself too much for a "happy go lucky family
blog"... It started when I pissed the world off with the idea that adoption should be an option for all
And then I went further trying to explain why I thought religion (for me...) was hokey-pokey. After
writing those posts and having 2million people, their friends&family&exmotherinlaws emailing,
commenting and threatning me - I further realized that I wanted to be able to fully express myself,
but not necessarily in the "this is what Mitch or my children believe" so I created I am Blair - Hear Me Roar.
Which sure, that was to complain, and that eventually lead to I am Blair - mostly so I could also talk about
getting my boob job. Or things that were positive, helping me mold & shape, school, etc & so forth.

But really? You can only complain so much...

"You don't make progress by standing on the sidelines wimpering and complaining. You make
progress by implementing ideas!"
~ Shirley Hufstedler

So folks? Seriously. I will try and work on that.
I mean, I have some incredibly inspirational blogs I read, from people of all religious backgrounds, all walks and
paths of life. So if you are reading mine thinking "Heck girl you need some help", don't be afraid to comment and
say so, don't be afraid to comment and share YOUR beliefs, YOUR thoughts, etc.
I don't bite......

(No really,I don't. Kick, Scratch, Slap, Scream, sure... Bite? Nah).