12 November, 2014

I get through. I'm getting through. I'll get through.

There's a new man in my life.
No, not that type of man.
[Oh the jaded comments I could make about others moving on that fast... but I digress*.]

And actually, it's not a man.
It's a WO-man.
 And whoah - truly I should say more like a "WOW" man.

I was always under this pretense that in order for me to seek a 'paid friend' - they had to be ridiculously educated and schooled. They had to have a PhD -  had to be male - and couldn't be faith based.

I know. Completely odd.

And yet since the 'incident' - I  have been seeing a paid friend that is quite the opposite.
She's a woman - has a masters - and she is Christian.

But seriously - the most amazing thing she has helped me learn since I began paying for our friendship?
The value of me.

Now - professionally, I know it. I rock it. In fact I oft refer to myself (though sarcastically) as a 'bulldog' in my field because I am pretty dang confident in what I do.

But in my day to day life? Syke!

And while I have a heck of a long way to go - after all, who is perfect? - I have already grown and learn more than I thought I could in a month.

Some nights? Some nights, I don't cry now.
And yes, it hurts seeing above-mentioned things* - but I survive now.
When my brain wants to force myself into an endless circle of times past, regrets, or worries - I ground myself now.
I get through. I'm getting through. I'll get through.

So - for what it's worth - paid friends aren't all that bad!