Who knew a period of time could be the best to ever happen to you - and yet the most hurtful, painful, and heartbreaking as well.
It's included learning everlasting & truthful, unfading love - and yet the realization that those we love so much, can unexpectedly turn their backs and hurt us with such ease.
My heart is filled to the brim with gratitude - un-explainable, and unending gratitude - for what has been recently given & restored to my life. I never thought I would get these things - and more so, get so many of them back after so long. But G-d proves that he is greater, stronger, and more devout to us, his followers, than any question or doubt we may ever have or face. I so strongly face the days ahead of me, each with it's own beauty and worth.
As far as events - last Friday I was in a car wreck, and totaled my car. Total Bummer. My amazing boyfriend found coverage for his work, and immediately came down to be with me. He left Sunday night, and on Tuesday when I got home from work I was surprised with a thanksgiving festive decorated apartment & candle lit dinner . Hello, swoon! The following night I managed to make a fool out of myself (who, ME!?) but also accomplished things that were laying so heavily upon my heart that I'm not sure I would have ever done otherwise.
Apparently during that 'make a fool of myself' phase, I had concurred to sending a letter (an email rather) that I then the next morning didn't recall. I flipped. I flipped. I FLIPPED. Fear overcame me - I couldn't believe I had "allowed" it to happen, I couldn't believe "the person" had done it & trusted me in my state, etc. After a worse tempter tantrum than most 3 year old's give - one that expelled many, many awful hurtful things to someone who has done nothing but shown great honesty & love to me - I realized, that it was something that needed to happen. It was a letter I would have never had the courage to do so on my own, and it was important that it be done. Funny that if we simply stop to truly think - rather than just immediately act - how different our actions and thought processes will be.
Thursday morning Mr Amazing and I ventured down to Virginia, where I thought was a great thanksgiving - first with Mr Amazing's (AMAZING family) & then with my own. OF course, that would be too good to be true with my family, so the night and next day ended up being some of the most embarrassing, painful, and ridiculously pathetic events I've dealt with in a long time. But amongst the immaturity and cruelty, (I no innocent bystander of course), good came through in other areas - to which I give G-d the glory.
In a town next to my mom's (Staunton) they do a light show, and local organizations/churches/etc put up themed light exhibits for viewers to drive through the park and see... the LDS church in the area has a model of the Washington DC temple - how could I pass that moment up? :)
May I just say that it WASN'T important that that letter have been written? You know this to be the truth, as that letter was not YOUR truth. Someone who takes time to know and love you would understand and respect that. Lack of consent? It's like...agency rape or something. Not cool.
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